I used to be afraid of many things,
Of snakes and spiders and rejection.
To me, compliments were like bee stings,
I used to be desperate for affection.
I used to be afraid of thoughts,
Of people talking behind my back.
I didn’t realize that they forgot
About me, so they cut me some slack.
I used to be afraid of rotten words,
What a bitch, they all would say.
Each sliver of gossip that I overheard,
Would haunt me day by day.
I used to hate myself for making mistakes,
I was angry at the naïve stupid me.
I used to bend so far I would break,
I wished to be perfect and free.
Anxiety wrapped itself around my neck,
I would choke on the teasing and hate.
I used to think of myself as a wreck,
I used to think that it was too late.
Humans are faulty, it’s the way we are,
We make choices of which we’re ashamed.
Without trial and error we wouldn’t go far,
‘Cause it’s our delusions that make us the same.
Should’ve said this and should’ve done that,
We are anxious creatures, we are.
Our conscience is skinny and desire is fat,
And our motives strikingly bizarre.
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