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A Love Poem to Rob Ford

With Valentine’s Day coming near It is the perfect time to confess my love To the most famous man of this great land Embodying a nation that’s both strong and free Yes, Rob Ford, I declare my love for thee Even when I try to forget about your smile It shows up on the front page of the paper Your face shiny and pink like rose marble My heart begins to sting with envy That you’re having a great life without me Oh how I wish that you could see I’d cross bridges and mountains and LRTs for you I’d bash all the protesters outside City Hall for you Just to make you notice me Together, we could have dinners at Steak Queen We could conquer the gravy train We could conquer the world Alas, my unrequited love taunts me Even though I know you have More than you can eat at home Will you still be my Valentine?

Valentine

You are my sweetheart, you are my core You are what I crawl out of bed for You melt my heart, you calm my nerve You give me the love that I deserve Baby, play the piano on my skin I love the way that I make you grin Together we will live forever We will find our love wherever Cause we are both half-circles, hun Together we can become one I’ll be a lady and you’ll be my man You’re meant for me, it was God’s plan So draw these circles on my neck I’ll give your lips a loving peck We’ll waltz in circles through the night We’ll see the grass dew in the sunlight Darling, you are too damn fine Will you be my Valentine?