Olga's Poetry & Thoughts

Jesus looks over The lost souls and bones below In the jungle sun To witness such beauty And such devastation God painted with one brushstroke Merry men sing Holes in their shoes The dark night lit up By police sirens And the crescent moon Bats flail around Like me, lost in the jungle Eyes glaring all around I hope they're monkeys Or jaguars I hope I can keep a piece of This country with me Safe in my pocket It smells like tropical rain And feels like The clam shells Washed up on the shore It tastes like fried bananas And heavily salted steak Sounds like seabirds cawing Samba on the streets And looks like a page From a storybook About parrots and palm trees Of finding a golden treasure A magnificent, uneasy place When she sun goes down So do we Leaving the night  To the creepy crawlers And innocent stray cats

Happiness is jumping in a pool of pink jellybeans Feeling the cool candy on my skin Happiness is enjoying the pleasures of life Without worrying about confessing my sins Whoever said that we are gluttons For biting juicy pears on the beach Must never have felt the sand in their toes They must have placed their own soul out of reach And what about greed? It's not all that bad To bury a pile of chestnuts for the spring All animals do it, so why shouldn't we? If it's greedy to love yourself, let it be Lust is the one that makes pastors blush Yet it's one of the greatest joys in the body A kiss and a dance, laughter and romance Why did we ever label this happiness as naughty? Have you ever seen a cat sad when it naps? It is okay to sometimes be lazy The body needs rest as does the mind Or the world will set fire from the crazy If happiness is a sin, then let me smile in hell Looking up at the do-gooders above For to live is to err, to cry, and to sing Happiness is pink jell...

I used to be a scared 'lil lamb Threatened by the horns of every ram In the pond I used to see All my flaws staring back at me I liked to blend in with the flock In a sea of sheep out on the dock In the world I did not trust And after wolves I always did lust Now I've shed this woolen coat I'm friends with ever pig, and horse, and goat I don't fear a wolf in sheep's clothing 'Cause I'm fed up with sick self-loathing I roam the meadows at sunrise No longer obsessed with my demise And in my reflection, all I see Is a lone, brave wolf staring back at me

Every time I close my eyes, I see the fire That aches where you burned me last I am a woman of the earth and the cool soil Where life ferments and earthworms roam I can't survive the lava that pulses beneath The crust of this beautiful land Yellow dandelions piercing the grass Emerald pockmarked with gold I wish sometimes that I wasn't a woman of the earth I wish that I were stronger I wish that my bones were made of steel And my heart of flame So that I wouldn't fall apart at every Crude remark, every Light tug, every Covert attack That rolls off the back of a fire-woman Instead, my skin is transluscent  Like the morning dew  My muscles pieced together With tree sap and mushrooms What's an earth-woman to do In a world engulfed by fire? But root herself firmly to one place Grow a network of twisting underground limbs And create a stable home To escape the chaos of this world

Some people are in our lives Meant to be loved from a distance There's nothing wrong with that It's just that we're too different Or perhaps even too alike Two north poles repelling each other A couple of lone wolves mingling A dog barking at its own reflection The same blood runs through our veins But we are not meant to know each other We're just meant to co-exist  On the same planet, but ignorant of the other A colourful scaled fish roaming the seas While a spider sits in its web in a barn One wholly unaware of the other But needing the other in some way For earth to reach an equilibrium Not everything is meant to be held forever Some things are meant to be let go Like the old school pencils at the bottom of the drawer Or the Barbie dolls in the back of the closet They're loved, but loved at a distance Admired from afar

It's a most paradoxical season Of candy cane lane and seasonal depression Some call it the winter blues When the days are short and often cloudy And the nights are frigid and black People forget how to drive And your socks are always wet There's an aura of chaos and mayhem At the local shopping mall Santa Claus grumbling behind his beard, overworked While people shop for things, stuff, and gizmos Will he appreciate the stand mixer (50 percent off)? Will she like the stainless steel bracelet? Will they be happy to see a Barbie dreamhouse Under the Walmart Christmas tree? It's hard to think, with all that noise That's part of the reason for winter blues When my skin is dry and scaly And my ears are constantly cold My body always too chilled or too hot Everyone sneezing around me But, it's beautiful too The snowflakes catching on my coat As we ice skate under the stars Time stopping still 'Cause the only cure for winter blues Is a steaming cup of cocoa And good com...

Love is kind, love is blind Love is a sour lemon rind Just when we think we know  Life shows us that it isn't so As we're stumbling in the dark Looking for that magic spark Love is selfish, love is cruel Love makes us act like fools Sometimes love's a masquerade 'Cause inside we are afraid Of letting loose and letting go Of putting our hearts up for show Love's mysterious, love's a dream Love is vanilla bean ice-cream Melting on a hot summer's day Dipping our toes down by the cay Oh the joy that true love brings All the bluebirds seem to sing Love is sour and love is sweet It can be poison or a treat While I was taking a little stroll I fell right down the rabbit hole And landed right in your clutch The sparks flying at your touch Cupid has me at his feet 'Cause loving you is always sweet

I don't believe in soul mates, but I do believe That a life of happiness can be shared With someone special We're not teenagers anymore So the bar is higher The expectations are raised In sickness and in health, we promise It's easy to find someone Who will share your good times Buttered popcorn at the movies Cosmo cocktails at the bar Dancing the night away It's easy to find someone Who will declare, "I love you" Who will kiss you smoothly Like melted chocolate on your tongue It's tragically easy To hold hands at the park Feed the pigeons Go ice skating in the winter And camping in the summer Meet each other's families Buy a bouquet of roses at the grocery store What is difficult What is true love Is staying together through the storms The ones that put leaks in your roof The outside forces drip drip dripping Into your living room Your beloved grandma's death Drip The decision to have kids, or not Drip A mental breakdown Drip An awkward reunion wi...

They say that words can't hurt you But that can't be any further from the truth Some words can slice your heart in two Some feel like eating a bowl of metal Other words taste like fluffy meringue pie Like soft, comforting words from a friend Words have the power to lift you up to the sky Or bury you alive under their weight Other words are like sour candies Sweet at first, until you ruminate To their sickly citrus centres Words can embrace you like a warm hug Or they can feel like an ice cold bath Entire relationships have begun, suffered, and Disintegrated because of a few words Our whole society hinges on a treatise of words A bundle of paper and ink Keeps criminals from wreaking havoc So when they say words can't break your bones Don't listen to them; words can amputate your spirit And leave you hobbling for weeks Or perhaps for the rest of your life Words can be love letters or death threats So don't ever claim That your words mean nothing

They say to “forgive and forget” But forgetting is impossible When someone has wounded your heart The cuts don’t disappear, they sting More faintly, over time But to forgive? That’s within the realm Of meek human possibility Not saying that it’s easy to do Forgiveness crumples the ego When we’ve been wronged We want to lash out and destroy An eye for an eye Hurt word for hurt word It takes an almost saintly resilience To say, I forgive you I love you, and wish you All the blessings in life For that is true forgiveness  

Like a walnut, my heart's sealed shut No one but I can crack it open But I am always stuck in a rut Desperately tired of hoping For a decade, my muscles have been tense My poor body and mind constricted Like a snake, looking into my soul, intense My own heart's gotten me conflicted So I self-medicate with ramen noodles and wine And push the uncomfortable thoughts deep down But there's so much it can bear, this heart of mine And not enough noise for the bad thoughts to drown There is no running from your soul There is no solice in denial Sooner or later you have to take control So that you're ready to walk down the aisle Yes, walnuts are tough to crack But with love and patience it can be done When you get there, don't look back Know that you have won Yes, healing hurts, my heart's an open sore Admitting it is hard to do But now my heart's an open door 'Cause you love me, and I love you, too

My mom used to say: that ’s the way the world works, hun You can’t make friends with everyone Some will love you, some will pretend Others will be with you right ‘til the end That’s the way it all works, dear Friends close, and enemies near But even when everyone around you will say That you won’t make it, that you haven’t the brain Even when one hundred people will boo you away You’ve got to believe in yourself, that’s the only way The self-preservation, the fight in you, you see You can’t let them tell you that you’re not free You’re an artist, a scholar, you’re special to me You are incredible, but not everyone will agree Though it’s not fair, that’s the way it all works Some slave away and then the others get perks You don’t get to choose where you come from, you know But you can decide where it is that you want to go You are a sunflower, you just need to find the right rays That will set your true glory ablaze You are a bluebird, but you’re ...

Watching the VHS of my parent's wedding day for the fifth time brings a smile to my face, but a pang of unsease to my stomach. My mother has told me the story a million times: about how she met my dad in school through mutual friends, about their early dates at the movies, their inevitable falling in love with each other. The grainy image from the '90s video tape shows my mom, in her long-sleeved, lacy white wedding gown, a giant smile plastered on her face, and dad, who to me looks the same as now, but with fewer grey hairs. The event takes place in a beautiful cathedral in my hometown in Poland, my mom and dad surrounded by family and friends. A happy occassion. A momentous occassion. So why do I feel uneasy? Well, it might have to do with the fact that my parents have been divorced for the past 15 years. You can't blame me for having a pessimistic view on marriage. Did you know that Canada has one of the highest divorce rates in the world? Yet, I tried to suppress these ...

I'll never forget the warmth of my grandma's old gas stove In the cramped two-bedroom apartment that always smelled like smoke My grandpa would sit in his room with a cigarette in his left hand Stroking his coarse grey beard while solving a crossword puzzle My grandma would be shuffling around in her kapcie , house slippers Baking and cooking and frying and banging pots and pans Boiling strawberry jam with fresh fruits picked from her dzialka , yard And pickling cucumbers and cabbage and mushrooms in glass jars I'll never forget the sweet smell of nalesniki wafting from the kitchen In my paternal grandfather's loft, up on the fifth floor Cottage cheese crepes fried in oil, dipped in jam It was my favourite breakfast as a kid My grandpa's dog, Grot, would wag his tail and beg for crumbs Then we'd go for walks to the old town  Strolling along the cobblestoned streets of Olsztyn, my hometown The sun warming me up on a bright summer day I'll never forget my gre...

Remember when life was a dream Sweet as cookies and cream Sticky summer days lasted forever I remember your hand in mine A puppy love so divine We could travel wherever Remember video games on the couch Adults telling us not to slouch Each day happier than the last Listening to our iPods We would live forever like gods We didn't feel as each year passed Now every day is the same Be it sunshine or rain Eyes aching from the screen Oh to go back to those days When nights were a haze And we all ate cookies and cream

Dear Simon, I'm writing this letter to you because I miss you dearly. It seems like only yesterday we were swimming in the creek by the estate, and you commented how my skin glows so deliciously in the sun. But you left me, and that was your choice. Now I'm stranded in this massive villa all alone, with just my echoes as company. I won't dwell on this point too much and guilt you, for I know your abandonment must be weighing heavy on your heart. I'm also writing to tell you about my recent afflictions, as I have no one else who will listen. Roughly six months ago, I began to develop a case of insomnia. Normally my eyelids would flutter closed at no later than midnight, but recently I haven't been able to sleep until three or four o'clock in the morning. When I do manage to fall asleep, the quality of rest is abysmal, filled with short nightmares and night sweats. Laura, our maid, and Helga, the cook, don't sleep in the house, of course, for they have t...

I tapped my foot impatiently As the grocery clerk tried to find The code to scan my tomatoes Now, I see that I'd been ungrateful For the backbone of our society: Grocery store workers Truck drivers Post office workers Trash collectors And doctors and nurses, of course Like your spine, you rarely appreciate it When it's not broken But if your spine breaks, then You collapse Thank you to all the unsung heroes Who are making sure we have Dinner to put on the table Food and medicine in stores Clean streets And healthy people We see you and appreciate you

As crimson skies do turn to grey So young trees rattle and decay What once was golden is now bronze Once full of pros, now smeared with cons An apple, forgotten, growing old On the table, ripe with mold It was juicy just yesterday But now it's foreign as a stray As heavy hearts do hollow out So does the aching sense of doubt Once a lovely carefree spree Now, dead, crucified on the tree An apple, forgotten, painful, lonely A single apple, but it's not the only

A few years ago, during the penultimate semester in my university career, a tragedy struck my classmates and me. While much time has passed, my thoughts often drift back to this time, and I wonder why it had affected me so much. In my fourth year of university, I was still under the foolish impression that I would graduate to be a top-of-the-line lawyer, a legal advocate for women's rights, a leader in the profession. It was a career path that I quickly learned was not right for me at all, but at the time, I thought it was my destiny. Hence, I took a non-mandatory tort and contract law class on Tuesdays from 6 to 8:45 pm. My professor, let's just call him Mr. F, was a loud, energetic presence in the room. He would pace around the front of the room, scribbling things on the board here and there, and using a handkerchief to mop the sweat off his brow every fifteen minutes or so. He was clearly very passionate about his career in law. The one case he taught us that struck out ...

I remember sushi and white wine Laying on the couch, entwined Singing high pitched shower tunes Re-watching childhood cartoons I remember spending all day in bed Going out all night instead Taking a bus around the block Having a picnic on a rock Red roses crumbling on the floor Carrying me up through the door Cooking spaghetti for two I miss the memory of you It's all snippets in the mind Of the time that's left behind I love myself and my mind too Which means I will always love you Not you as who you are today But the memory which will stay