A Love Poem to Rob Ford

With Valentine’s Day coming near
It is the perfect time to confess my love
To the most famous man of this great land
Embodying a nation that’s both strong and free
Yes, Rob Ford, I declare my love for thee
Even when I try to forget about your smile
It shows up on the front page of the paper
Your face shiny and pink like rose marble
My heart begins to sting with envy
That you’re having a great life without me
Oh how I wish that you could see
I’d cross bridges and mountains and LRTs for you
I’d bash all the protesters outside City Hall for you
Just to make you notice me
Together, we could have dinners at Steak Queen
We could conquer the gravy train
We could conquer the world
Alas, my unrequited love taunts me
Even though I know you have
More than you can eat at home
Will you still be my Valentine?

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