Olga's Poetry & Thoughts

I am just a bird with nowhere to fly Wings clipped together till the day that I die My beak is taped shut and my feet are so sore If I could melt, I would not be afraid anymore My heart was sold, and bought by oily-faced men And I know I will not be able to see my mother again They treat me like an animal, although I am free They split open my scars as if I don’t bleed Coughing and smiling with cigarettes in their cheek They pound me even though they know I am weak I wish I could migrate with the others- in the clouds I wish I could do something to make myself proud! But they’ve beat me- they’ve ruined me, now I can’t fly I am merely a bird waiting to die

My own misery has started to take pity on me, Butterflies nibbling at my nerve. Monarchs with jaw full of rigid canines, Ready to deliver my soul what it deserves. Cowardice be gone! Yet it loathes the underworld, Therefore it lingers on me like a leech on puffed flesh. No matter how greatly I yearn to break it down, Bravery is beheaded and despair is refreshed! My heart is a few beats away from extinction, Yet I ponder and meander around aimlessly. No purpose, no emotion, no loving, no joy, With genuine misfortune teasing and enveloping me. The truth is that I love being a little less than my best, And I thoroughly enjoy losing clamorous wars. But maybe, just one time, I can decapitate cowardice, So that I would not have to be afraid anymore.

Vibes pulsating through my chest Bodies against bodies tightly compressed It’s a sweaty and hot atmosphere Drums so loud I can’t speak nor hear Teenagers with piercings pushing through Mowing down everyone, they don’t care who Crazy girls bodysurfing all the way to the stage Angered old man storming out in a rage Everyone’s jumping and singing aloud Fists in the air held up high and proud Rock stars jamming out on their guitars Singing about beer and movies and stars Fans wildly pushing each other around Hustling and rioting all the way to the ground The only thing keeping me here is the beat The acoustics and vibrations savoury sweet Shouting all the lyrics I know Constantly dreading the end of the show Suffocating from overwhelmingly badass fun And the concert has only begun

Every breath of gentle air I inhale is in memory of you Each beat of my pounding heart is in thought of you Just know that everything I do I do it all for you... But the days are getting shorter and the air is getting thick My pulse is glacial and my heart is raw and sick I thought the bluebells grinned at me, but my eyes were playing tricks I presumed they would charm me, but my soul tore from falling bricks Here I go again, but I swear this is the last time I'd be guilty if crushing my own spirits were a crime The glass is half empty and the margarita's half full All colours of the rainbow fading to grey and dull There's no where else to go but higher up from here The past is but a statement now; the past can disappear So here I am, as I always was, as I will remain This is me, a humble soul, with only myself to blame

I am gazing upon that strange girl in the mirror Though no lenses would make me notice her clearer Her blue eyes do not haze me for a second, no doubt This serpent is troublesome to figure out Might as well just give up and let myself go Who cares if I giggle and rock to and fro? This blonde will eventually wither to grey Those things will not matter which are important today As my heartbeats become scarce and my senses decay I will simply be begging to press the replay Overrated but true- "live life to the fullest, have fun" These flimsy words of wisdom are much easier said than done With every chuckle of laughter I sink to the ground For I truly feel guilty for goofing around My life should revolve around homework and chores No crazy nights out, no going to stores Yes, that girl in the mirror is trying to make me insane Maybe I should just follow my spirit and ditch this dull brain

When your eyelashes rest for the night And the moon shines down upon your hair You are in that half awake state of mind Not yet dreaming, yet he’s already there Every love song on the radio reminds you of him And each melody brings his face to your thoughts He is the first and last thing you ponder about everyday Yet you deny that you like him… a lot When you see someone that merely resembles him Your heart skips a beat and your palms start to sweat And with every chance you get to talk to him You cherish his words, which you won’t ever forget His smile melts your soul from across the room And his voice makes you thirsty for more Your heart outraces your logic by a mile ‘Till you do not understand yourself anymore Maybe not all is created to make sense All you know is that when you’re with him you feel swell When he crosses your mind more than ten times a day It’s apparent that he’s got you under his spell

2010 is history; only tomorrow lies ahead All scabs have been punctured and mournfully bled But during this one point in time when the fireworks blaze My mind is unwired and left in a haze For all my troubles have fluttered away Like butterflies nesting, they've nothing to say Taking it easy and taking it slow Nothing to do and nowhere to go My vocabulary is basic and my writing is plain My mind is so dead it infects my whole brain Yet in the pitch black of the night The loud fireworks scare me outright Every whistle and wheeze digs into my heart Telling me that 2011 will be a fresh start There is not a single care in the world There is a soulmate for every girl Ah, it is true, time heals all pain But I`ll never be perfect and I won`t try in vain So cheers to the new year, a new journey lies ahead Let all wishes come true and all failures left dead