Olga's Poetry & Thoughts

They say that words can't hurt you But that can't be any further from the truth Some words can slice your heart in two Some feel like eating a bowl of metal Other words taste like fluffy meringue pie Like soft, comforting words from a friend Words have the power to lift you up to the sky Or bury you alive under their weight Other words are like sour candies Sweet at first, until you ruminate To their sickly citrus centres Words can embrace you like a warm hug Or they can feel like an ice cold bath Entire relationships have begun, suffered, and Disintegrated because of a few words Our whole society hinges on a treatise of words A bundle of paper and ink Keeps criminals from wreaking havoc So when they say words can't break your bones Don't listen to them; words can amputate your spirit And leave you hobbling for weeks Or perhaps for the rest of your life Words can be love letters or death threats So don't ever claim That your words mean nothing

In the sky there hangs a white crescent moon, It shines bright on the big city below. I'm all alone, but I won't be soon, The ghost in the night, she comes and she goes. I hear her in the kitchen brewing tea, And then she comes to my bedside and stares. I feel her dark eyes piercing straight through me, In the dark, her face is ghastly and pale. She's haunting me yet I do not feel scared, There's something familiar about her stance. I'd reach out and talk to her if I dared, I'd ask her out for a midnight slow dance. The ghost lady is my past self, you see, It's me being terrified of what I can be.

They say to “forgive and forget” But forgetting is impossible When someone has wounded your heart The cuts don’t disappear, they sting More faintly, over time But to forgive? That’s within the realm Of meek human possibility Not saying that it’s easy to do Forgiveness crumples the ego When we’ve been wronged We want to lash out and destroy An eye for an eye Hurt word for hurt word It takes an almost saintly resilience To say, I forgive you I love you, and wish you All the blessings in life For that is true forgiveness  

I want to howl at the moon And be wild, be free Take these stilettos of my feet And feel the sand in between my toes Chip my nails and let my hair grow long Sing from deep within my diaphragm  Not caring how bad I sound  After all, only the bluebirds can hear me I want to spend the day drenched in the sun's heat The evenings scavenging for berries Then fall asleep under a canopy  Of a thousand twinkling stars  Is this what freedom tastes like? Sweet nectar and earthy moss? Fuzzy caterpillars tickling my ankles As I'm picking mushrooms that are safe to eat And throwing them in my basket To be wild, be free To live in the forest is a dream A landscape in my mind A regression to a time before I was born Where we didn't wear stilettos 

Like a walnut, my heart's sealed shut No one but I can crack it open But I am always stuck in a rut Desperately tired of hoping For a decade, my muscles have been tense My poor body and mind constricted Like a snake, looking into my soul, intense My own heart's gotten me conflicted So I self-medicate with ramen noodles and wine And push the uncomfortable thoughts deep down But there's so much it can bear, this heart of mine And not enough noise for the bad thoughts to drown There is no running from your soul There is no solice in denial Sooner or later you have to take control So that you're ready to walk down the aisle Yes, walnuts are tough to crack But with love and patience it can be done When you get there, don't look back Know that you have won Yes, healing hurts, my heart's an open sore Admitting it is hard to do But now my heart's an open door 'Cause you love me, and I love you, too

My mom used to say: that ’s the way the world works, hun You can’t make friends with everyone Some will love you, some will pretend Others will be with you right ‘til the end That’s the way it all works, dear Friends close, and enemies near But even when everyone around you will say That you won’t make it, that you haven’t the brain Even when one hundred people will boo you away You’ve got to believe in yourself, that’s the only way The self-preservation, the fight in you, you see You can’t let them tell you that you’re not free You’re an artist, a scholar, you’re special to me You are incredible, but not everyone will agree Though it’s not fair, that’s the way it all works Some slave away and then the others get perks You don’t get to choose where you come from, you know But you can decide where it is that you want to go You are a sunflower, you just need to find the right rays That will set your true glory ablaze You are a bluebird, but you’re

Watching the VHS of my parent's wedding day for the fifth time brings a smile to my face, but a pang of unsease to my stomach. My mother has told me the story a million times: about how she met my dad in school through mutual friends, about their early dates at the movies, their inevitable falling in love with each other. The grainy image from the '90s video tape shows my mom, in her long-sleeved, lacy white wedding gown, a giant smile plastered on her face, and dad, who to me looks the same as now, but with fewer grey hairs. The event takes place in a beautiful cathedral in my hometown in Poland, my mom and dad surrounded by family and friends. A happy occassion. A momentous occassion. So why do I feel uneasy? Well, it might have to do with the fact that my parents have been divorced for the past 15 years. You can't blame me for having a pessimistic view on marriage. Did you know that Canada has one of the highest divorce rates in the world? Yet, I tried to suppress these