Olga's Poetry & Thoughts

               I drummed my fingers on the receptionist ’s desk in unease. There was a chemical smell all around me, seeping into my skin. A small brown dog was barking behind me, its owner looking defeated, repeating, “Stop it, Biscuit! Get down!”                “That will be $245.65. How would you like to pay?” the receptionist asked.                I paid the full amount by credit card. I would worry about how I would afford the mounting vet bills later. I looked at my small black cat, Mika, whom I’ve known since I was thirteen years old. She looked up at me innocently with her eerie and beautiful yellow eyes.                “It’s okay, Mika” I petted her and she purred, the tip of her pink tongue lolling out of her lips...

I dreamt last night, I'm not sure why, About pink jellyfish in the sky. They'd shine and fade as they passed me by, These mysterious jellyfish that could fly. The sky was dark as the deepest sea, The night tides had shifted for me. Down was up and up was free, Above me was the most magical quay. Take me to a time when jellyfish roamed, To a time when dreams were my home. Like Aphrodite rising from foam, Carry me to that virtuous zone. Alas, the sky is stuck in one place, Everyday I wake up to the same tired face. I fear and I ponder, am I a disgrace? In this world without jellyfish all over the place. No, in this world, there are only stars in the sky, There are gloomy figures that pass me with a sigh. Men on the platform, waiting to die, They think about it when the train passes by. They think about what lies beyond this doom, Of mundanity, hatred, and car exhaust fumes. They imagine that going back into the womb, Is like spending eternity with jell...

On Halloween Eve I attended a feast Where friends were disguised as brilliant beasts Amid all the rags of black, grey, and plum My red dress blotted the floor with red rum I was the Queen of Hearts for one night Flattered by men who blushed at my sight I was a caricature of women who rage I was a damsel from the Victorian age Though I was proposed to by all the males I rejected them at the swish of my scarlet red nails There was one man, in the corner of the room Who caused my intrigue to tenderly bloom He was not a clown, a cowboy, or an ape He was a skeleton in a flowing black cape This sort of blasphemy I've never seen To dress as the Reaper for Halloween He transformed a holiday of fun and fear Into a reminder that death is too near He left to the garden, and I followed and whined And told him his costume was way out of line He turned his head and I shuddered at his face Which was a skeletal, bleached disgrace "Sir, I demand you unmask your brow! ...

Sitting in the waiting room Clock ticking on the wall Musky, heavy old perfume Drifting through the hall Carpet thick with dust Chair splitting at the seams Ginger cookies turned to crust Fresh milk rotted into cream Children playing with their dolls Ripping their bodies in two Clock keeps ticking on the wall We're still waiting in the queue This lady with a clipboard Calls out for a Dolore Again I've been ignored As Dolore walks out the door After days and days on end The lady greets me with a smile Finally I can attend What I've been missing this whole while She leads me through the door Which leads me to a beach A sandy white ocean shore A horizon hard to reach The waiting room is life All we know and all we see Is so trifling when we know We can't even see the sea

When I was four years old I didn't know what death was. I used to cut earthworms in half, just for fun. And even after they were chopped like slices of salami, they would still squirm around and I thought this was because they lived forever. My schoolteacher told me it was because they had eight hearts, but even if they survived my slaughter, they would eventually die because that's nature's way. When I was eight years old it dawned on me that the worms are no different from us. They live and eat and do their best to survive, and one day they get snatched by a bird or a disease and they turn into mush. A bird will eat me up one day, too. I, at age eight, became terrified of eternal darkness. When I was ten years old I attended a Catholic school where religion was a mandatory subject. My schoolteacher told me that when you die, you go to heaven, where you are happy and safe for all eternity. I was so excited by this idea that I wrote prayers down so that I could memorize...

Today is special because it is certain Tomorrow is behind a black curtain Yesterday exists only in my mind, it seems Memories are exclusive to my dreams One day the romance and the lust Will shrink into a speck of dust And all the hatred that I had felt Will hiss and boil over and melt One day the remorse and the pain Will go down the bathroom drain My skin will be moth's food, I'll smile 'Cause I survived on earth this whole while You and I hate each other we do But I have a pulse and so do you One day when we're wrinkled you'll see Just how special you were to me And by you I mean everyone I know I look into heaven and I don't wanna go Can I love everyone at one time? I want to hug you all, is that a crime? One day I'll forgive you and I I'll meet God up there in the sky I'll be a number, anon deceased Remember me, a moth's feast One day my destinations will be done I'd have vis...

Last week was just mildly depressing, with the storm and all, but for some reason I had a huge "It's a woooonderful world" feeling today when I walked out into the world. I stepped into a foot of snow that made my socks wet. Then I looked at the park beside my building, which was completely covered in pure white glistening beauty that twinkled in the sunlight like Edward and I was like holy shit, only God could've blessed me with such a sight today. So although I could barely make my way through the half-plowed sidewalks, I realized that today I was much happier than I had been in a very, very long time. If only briefly. See, my main problem is that I have an extremist view on things. I screw something up and I think damn, I've screwed it so bad this time that I might as well quit trying. For example, in grade 10 I got a 60% on one of my math tests and I bawled my eyes out because I thought I wouldn't get into university. I barely skip classes and I feel l...

When I was younger, I truly believed That angels walked on the clouds. Which is why, when I strolled down the streets, I would never see angels around. My first frightful time going overseas, My hands clenched in my lap on the plane. I was searching for those angels to soothe me, But instead there was just overcast rain. That's when I knew that I was alone, A minuscule body in the ocean of fear. There was nobody, no saint above my head, And what was below me was cruelly unclear. Not knowing why, I searched the sky, Hoping that an angel would caress me. But every time I glared in the sun, The scorching light would possess thee. I crouched in the alleyway and I cried, Soot black mascara bleeding down my cheek. Never have I been so defeated, Never have I been so weak. On this dark gloomy night I realized... The people on the street were ablaze. Not on fire, not demonic, not putrid. They seemed to be kissed by sun rays. I blinked once, twice and then thric...

"I am an angel," she thought, As she braided her hair in the clouds. Humming the melody of the doves, And muttering church worthy prayers aloud. She knelt in the cloud dunes and sighed, When something horrid caught her by surprise. A mirror stood not far from her feet, And in it she saw her unfaithful eyes. Her lips were no longer sweet honeyed cherries, Instead, they were red hot and ablaze. Her pupils were aching, releasing grey smoke, And her strands of dull hair were a craze. Her stomach no longer craved mushrooms and pie, She longed for a thick piece of bread. And on it, meaty slices of a few men's hearts, Their blood tastier than butter spread. She ripped the wings off her back, Bent her golden halo 'til it broke. Euphoria cleansed her every organ, Surrounded by flames as she awoke.