Olga's Poetry & Thoughts

Faith is a peculiar beast, Her entity rather mysterious. Some say she is nearly deceased, Others deem that she is delirious. Faith and reason were never on friendly terms, And, as the legend goes… Faith’s spine was more brittle than firm, She was weak and saturated with woe. Reason was a mighty horrid brute, He had a jaw lined with a thousand fangs. His skin was slimy as that of a newt, When he yawned, he let his filthy tongue hang. The villagers were frightened of Reason, So they followed his laws like timid sheep. Rebellion was more severe than treason, Those who revolted were too anxious to sleep. Generations of villagers were in sorrow, Led blindly through life in fear. Aware of the perils planned for tomorrow, But oblivious of how dull or severe. One day, Faith was lolling under the sun, While a few local men dawdled by. They halted and hollered just for fun, Faith drooped her eyelids and let out a sigh. “Why do you tease me like so?” Faith questione

What is rain? A scientist would hypothesize that it’s mere precipitation; part of a finite cycle of pond water floating to the clouds… an artist would add that it is as if the drops were angels, falling back onto the soil from the heavens, as they complete their cycle. I would add- I so very insignificant to the perplexities of this world- that the rain is magic. For when the droplets turn into pellets and the puddles become craters in the middle of the street, we stare. We stare and we stare, so unaware that we are wide-eyed, gaping at dogs with mud in their fur…and a lone woman with nose pink as a child’s bubble-gum handkerchief strutting down the sidewalk at the estimated speed of twenty kilometres an hour, clutching her leopard-spotted umbrella with both hands as the fierce winds make her streaking mascara resemble a mime’s face…a crazed youngster with a goatee and too much cologne racing down the road in a metallic car that must be paid for in monthly installments which are prici

I remember how wonderful it felt to be young With strawberry sparkles lingering on my tongue And when I looked in the mirror my eyes went ablaze I could ogle in my reflection for days upon days Yes, I recall, the moments my decisions were wrong Stuffing stockings with suffering, I did not belong Approaching mild matters with excitement and zest Whilst shunning crude chores and disregarding the rest I still look back upon times of doing nothing at all Chatting over creamsicles or crusading the mall With heels of four inches and a textbook in hand Texting my mother, telling her I’m running errands Countless hours spent idly in front of a laptop screen Barbeque chips inhaled yet I remained so darn lean A cat on my bedside and a crush in my mind I recall pathetic nights that I should’ve left behind Thoughts seeping like toxin, oozing on replay Yes, I remember those serpents to this very day Lonely walks home, music streaming too loud Other times, I was

Today I had my very first in-car driving lesson! I was so nervous, my arms were stiff and I could barely breathe. I was in a state of full concentration and a bit of fear too. I walk outside and see a beige Toyota Corolla with an empty driver's seat. Then I step into the car, and my driving instructor says, in a thick Indian accent. "Hello! Are you Olga?" "Yes" I gulp, adjusting my seat and looking around nervously. "Good weather today huh?" Of course, it has to be raining during my first driving lesson. I start off accelerating very slowly, barely putting a toe on the pedal, going a steady 20 km/h. There was not a single car on the main road that did not pass me. Nervous as hell, I make my first right turn and gracefully nudge the curb. My instructor just tells me to calm down. After going in a sweet right-turning frenzy through the neighbourhood in the pouring rain, he asks me to drive on Leslie Street, where the driving limit reache

A lone woman strolling down the road One slender foot in front of the other Speeding past the rushing cars Listening to advice from her mother The streetlights illuminate the dark sky Flowers in pretty vases line the street Silence pierced by voices of men The scent of the roses morphing to toxic from sweet The bad man wanders the neighbourhood He lingers in the crook of the curb Stroking his chin with a sly little grin Clearly drunk with pleasure and nearly disturbed She spies the bad man from a block away He radiates the scents of tobacco and beer She quickens the pace to avoid his sick face And begs that he will not venture near Headlights of cars shine on her legs Making her feel naked and bare From the corner of her eye she can sense the bad man His icy blue eyes sending a glare Beside the soda shoppe, in the parking lot He scurries like a badger and comes to her ear His rotten teeth inches away from her cheek He whispers, "Honey, come here"

A boy of age seventeen, Brain not yet fully evolved, Plastered somewhere midway between boy and bachelor. What has he got to offer, Other than a movie ticket and a latte? What can one expect, From a fellow, who is lost in the mirror? All we ask for, all we long for, all we want... Is acceptance. Yet, some boys, at age seventeen, Are blinder than dingbats lurking in the overlaps of a cave, And duller than the butterknife that's been deserted in the back corner of your kitchen cabinet since 1999. Along with this, they talk. Talk is lousy, talk is sleazy, talk is worthless. For anyone can claim, That they are the best at a given thing. A polar bear can claim he can fly to the tip of the iceberg, A tadpole can claim she will transform into a fish, And a seventeen year old boy can claim that he is the best at absolutely everything. Tell me, what is the difference? And what...I write this with profound inquiry in my mind... What is the point?

I do not have the capability to tell you what I am But I sure as hell can recite to you what I am not. I am not A scrap of debris to be stepped on To be wasted To be forgotten. I am not Some sort of playing field. There are no black-and-white checkers lining my stomach, are there? Chess pieces need someplace else to roam. I am not A merciless barbarian who needs no one to hold With teeth the size of elephant tusks gripping my chest… I am not I swear my life on this one- Every inch of my being is content with this, when I say- I am not Just Another Girl. And if you think so, Whatever.

The path from the heart to the lips Is filled with potholes and easy slips It’s the core of confusion; lover of lust The faucet from which regret steadily drips

Tulips hang their heads at night Sometimes I wonder why Roses close their arms in fright While the dampened soil turns dry Sometimes I wonder why The owls scavenge with the moon While the dampened soil turns dry Leaving white mice to their doom The owls scavenge with the moon Needlessly boasting as they go Leaving white mice to their doom Maple trees swaying to and fro Needlessly boasting as they go Hunters stomping through the wood Maple trees swaying to and fro Shooting as carelessly as they could Hunters stomping through the wood Maple trees swaying to and fro Shooting as carelessly as they could Needlessly boasting as they go

I am just a bird with nowhere to fly Wings clipped together till the day that I die My beak is taped shut and my feet are so sore If I could melt, I would not be afraid anymore My heart was sold, and bought by oily-faced men And I know I will not be able to see my mother again They treat me like an animal, although I am free They split open my scars as if I don’t bleed Coughing and smiling with cigarettes in their cheek They pound me even though they know I am weak I wish I could migrate with the others- in the clouds I wish I could do something to make myself proud! But they’ve beat me- they’ve ruined me, now I can’t fly I am merely a bird waiting to die

My own misery has started to take pity on me, Butterflies nibbling at my nerve. Monarchs with jaw full of rigid canines, Ready to deliver my soul what it deserves. Cowardice be gone! Yet it loathes the underworld, Therefore it lingers on me like a leech on puffed flesh. No matter how greatly I yearn to break it down, Bravery is beheaded and despair is refreshed! My heart is a few beats away from extinction, Yet I ponder and meander around aimlessly. No purpose, no emotion, no loving, no joy, With genuine misfortune teasing and enveloping me. The truth is that I love being a little less than my best, And I thoroughly enjoy losing clamorous wars. But maybe, just one time, I can decapitate cowardice, So that I would not have to be afraid anymore.

Vibes pulsating through my chest Bodies against bodies tightly compressed It’s a sweaty and hot atmosphere Drums so loud I can’t speak nor hear Teenagers with piercings pushing through Mowing down everyone, they don’t care who Crazy girls bodysurfing all the way to the stage Angered old man storming out in a rage Everyone’s jumping and singing aloud Fists in the air held up high and proud Rock stars jamming out on their guitars Singing about beer and movies and stars Fans wildly pushing each other around Hustling and rioting all the way to the ground The only thing keeping me here is the beat The acoustics and vibrations savoury sweet Shouting all the lyrics I know Constantly dreading the end of the show Suffocating from overwhelmingly badass fun And the concert has only begun

Every breath of gentle air I inhale is in memory of you Each beat of my pounding heart is in thought of you Just know that everything I do I do it all for you... But the days are getting shorter and the air is getting thick My pulse is glacial and my heart is raw and sick I thought the bluebells grinned at me, but my eyes were playing tricks I presumed they would charm me, but my soul tore from falling bricks Here I go again, but I swear this is the last time I'd be guilty if crushing my own spirits were a crime The glass is half empty and the margarita's half full All colours of the rainbow fading to grey and dull There's no where else to go but higher up from here The past is but a statement now; the past can disappear So here I am, as I always was, as I will remain This is me, a humble soul, with only myself to blame

I am gazing upon that strange girl in the mirror Though no lenses would make me notice her clearer Her blue eyes do not haze me for a second, no doubt This serpent is troublesome to figure out Might as well just give up and let myself go Who cares if I giggle and rock to and fro? This blonde will eventually wither to grey Those things will not matter which are important today As my heartbeats become scarce and my senses decay I will simply be begging to press the replay Overrated but true- "live life to the fullest, have fun" These flimsy words of wisdom are much easier said than done With every chuckle of laughter I sink to the ground For I truly feel guilty for goofing around My life should revolve around homework and chores No crazy nights out, no going to stores Yes, that girl in the mirror is trying to make me insane Maybe I should just follow my spirit and ditch this dull brain

When your eyelashes rest for the night And the moon shines down upon your hair You are in that half awake state of mind Not yet dreaming, yet he’s already there Every love song on the radio reminds you of him And each melody brings his face to your thoughts He is the first and last thing you ponder about everyday Yet you deny that you like him… a lot When you see someone that merely resembles him Your heart skips a beat and your palms start to sweat And with every chance you get to talk to him You cherish his words, which you won’t ever forget His smile melts your soul from across the room And his voice makes you thirsty for more Your heart outraces your logic by a mile ‘Till you do not understand yourself anymore Maybe not all is created to make sense All you know is that when you’re with him you feel swell When he crosses your mind more than ten times a day It’s apparent that he’s got you under his spell

2010 is history; only tomorrow lies ahead All scabs have been punctured and mournfully bled But during this one point in time when the fireworks blaze My mind is unwired and left in a haze For all my troubles have fluttered away Like butterflies nesting, they've nothing to say Taking it easy and taking it slow Nothing to do and nowhere to go My vocabulary is basic and my writing is plain My mind is so dead it infects my whole brain Yet in the pitch black of the night The loud fireworks scare me outright Every whistle and wheeze digs into my heart Telling me that 2011 will be a fresh start There is not a single care in the world There is a soulmate for every girl Ah, it is true, time heals all pain But I`ll never be perfect and I won`t try in vain So cheers to the new year, a new journey lies ahead Let all wishes come true and all failures left dead