Perfection is a Myth

For as long as I can remember, I've had the same unachievable goal, which I believed to be my life's purpose: to achieve perfection. I wanted to be a straight A student, an idol for the younger generation, the prettiest girl on the block, the girl with the perfect boyfriend, the perfect balance of everything that is wonderful and exquisite. Little did I realize that perfection is just a myth, like Big Foot or the cookie monster. I now type this blog post, feeling both shock and excitement, about my new found discovery- that the thing I've been trying so hard to attain all these years does not exist. It's a big pill to swallow, but hopefully a glass full of water and reality will ease the pain.

The biggest problem with trying to be perfect is having the constant feeling of guilt and failure. Since perfection is an illusion, I'm chasing after nothing. I feel guilty for not being perfect and, by this definition, I'm a failure because I'm not perfect. This sounds absolutely ridiculous when put into words, but it is just a piece of my flawed mind frame. On a less personal level, I find it difficult to accept that the world is not perfect. The more I get to know people and learn their life stories, the more I am convinced that everyone is on the other spectrum of perfection. As a newly enlightened, imperfect  human being, I present a list of the lessons I have learned throughout my years:

1. Morals are not universal. Okay, Kant would disagree on this one, but in reality everyone has different morals. What one person finds acceptable can be a crime to another. These moral differences are embedded in a person's personal and religious beliefs, culture, and sometimes gender and upbringing. 
2. People do not change. People grow and learn from their mistakes, but, essentially, people do not change. This is why trying to change a person will never work. A person can only grow if he/she wants to, but change is a steep hill to climb, and a person's core personality will remain the same throughout his/her life.
3. Life is not a storybook. In any paperback novel, the story starts off with a neat little introduction, then a climax, and a conclusion. Unfortunately, life is not so simple, as there are many "in between" areas of misery, tragedy, comedy, and also just pure boredom. 
4. Love and sex are not always synonymous. Yeah, we've all heard of or read Nicholas Sparks novels, where the man respects the woman (and vice versa) and they date for ten years before having sex and then  there are candles everywhere and jazz music in the background. But life is not so perfect. Many times, love disappoints us, and sex is not always as enriching as it's hyped up to be.
5. People are not classy. We're animals. We can dress up in fancy suits and stuff our love handles into corsets, but this does not make us classy. Humans are messy, faulty creatures who have primitive desires and often deceiving logic. We can appear classy, but really, a monocle and a moustache does not make one an instant gentlemen. 
6. People have feelings that they exhibit. Emotions are muddy and fragile, and sometimes people don't show their emotions properly; eg. they can get mad at a coworker and then starve the dog for a night. In a perfect world, everyone would be happy and kind all the time. In reality, people are moody and are not afraid to show it (because people are selfish, too).
7. Sometimes you do things you're not proud of. This is hard for me to accept, but we all make mistakes. By realizing your own mistakes and learning from them, you can accept other peoples' flaws as well. Also, making one mistake does not define who you are as a person. 
8. Your intuition never lies. You know that voice in your head that tells you what's wrong and right? Some people say that's your Guardian Angel. I say it's your intuition, and it's rarely ever wrong. You know what is best for you, and when you go against your intuition, you do it knowingly.
9. Forgiveness is a virtue. If there is one quality that I value most in my life, it is forgiveness. To forgive others, and to forgive yourself, really does set you free. Forgiveness is like saying, I know you did wrong but I do not judge you because I do wrong as well. Once we forgive, we can cherish the lessons learned and make better ones in the future.
10. If you don't respect yourself, you're bound to disrespect others. And also, others are bound to disrespect you. If you're mean to your own body, or your own mind, then how can you expect to find the strength in you to respect others? If you don't care about your own decisions, how can you care about another person's interests or goals? It all starts from you.
11. Being nice is overrated. It's important to be kind and generous and giving, but this doesn't mean you have to be nice all the time. If you're always trying to please others in order to get a good reputation or to get others to like you, you will only be disappointed. People who are too nice only get their emotions butchered in the end. The world is too harsh for sweetness. You have to be tough to get what you want and deserve, and this sometimes includes being mean or cold.
12. Perfection is a myth. This is my final point, because all things lead down to this. Perfection is an  unattainable ideal- there will be people who don't like you and there will be times when you feel like everything is crumbling around you. Life is not perfect, and we don't have a guide map to tell us what to do in every situation we are faced with. Life is just one big cycle of trial and error.