An Affair About Hockey

I know you’re cheating on me with the game

This foolishness is driving me insane

If the taste of beer is sweeter than me

Then kiss the keg and leave me be

Love deprived, you’re a sad bitter man

A lonely, sleazy Maple Leafs fan

Half-undressed, I stand at the door

You say move, honey, game starts at four

I know that your friends will come over soon

You’ll cheer on the team and yell like baboons

Your life goals reflect your poor persona

You can’t even choose- Guinness or Corona

You’ve worn the same jersey for three days now

You’ve fed on nothing but frat boy chow

(Mr. Noodles, hot dogs, and leftover steak

And last month’s strawberry birthday cake)

It hits twelve pm and you still hit snooze

If they lose, you drown your tears with booze

And if they win, you celebrate with the gin

Who do you love more- me or Fenton?

I’m not sure why I haven’t left you yet

But at a hockey game is where we first met

Comments

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