The Headboard Blues

It's that time of night, either 11 or 2,
When I start to get the headboard blues
There's nothing more awkward, we can agree
Than hearing your neighbour in ecstasy
I'd rather be woken to birds in their nest
Than a pursuant "yes, yes, YES"
The sound makes you too human, too real
I've seen you check your mail, and I've heard you squeal
I've seen you walk your dog and I do confess
I get uncomfortable when you say the word "yes"
The headboard noise is probably the worst
I stare at the ceiling; ah, I've been cursed
I play some music and curl into a ball
Waiting patiently until you finish your brawl
What you do in your home is your own affair
Just letting you know: I'm also there
Creepy, right? Those are apartments, you see
But let me nag you, if only indirectly
I'd rather listen to five kids crying at once
I'd rather hear twenty-five basketballs bounce
I'd rather be woken by a tiger's roar
Or of a teenager slamming the door
I'd rather hear you sing karaoke at 2 a.m.
Instead of hearing that incessant slam
I know I'm not innocent, I'm also to blame
Which is why I must cool my angry flame
Monkeys do it, birds do it, I know I'm aware
And in nature sweet privacy is rare
But the privacy I get in this thinly lined box
Is equal to that of a chimpanzee or a fox
It's 6 am and I'm woken by headboard blues
I've been awoken by screws upon screws
In all places I've lived, everywhere I go
Sleep hasn't been a thing that I know
The universal human paradox, let me clear it
Is wanting to have sex but not wanting to hear it

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