Skip to main content

64. Kitchen Staff Oath

I should have listened to my intuition
Before I applied for a kitchen position

Now I am cursed with this temporary career
The Kitchen Staff Oath begins right here:

I promise to wash every dish spotless clean
And fill the lawn tractor with the right gasoline

There is no excuse for coming to work late
I will come every morning in a hygienic state

I swear to never abuse my coworkers with mayonnaise
Violence is not the answer- I will live by that phrase

Water fights are for idiots; this summer I will be mature
I'm prepared for all hardships that I will endure

I will survive this through blood, sweat, and tears
At any moment in the day, I will be glad to be here

I shall be obedient to the almighty boss
With a smile on my face, I will never be cross

Never will I eat and ice cream sandwich that is not mine
I'll clean the floor to perfection, never will I step out of line

Most of all, NEVER will I procrastinate, argue, or loaf
I will abide by the kitchen staff oath
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Happiness is Pink Jellybeans

Happiness is jumping in a pool of pink jellybeans Feeling the cool candy on my skin Happiness is enjoying the pleasures of life Without worrying about confessing my sins Whoever said that we are gluttons For biting juicy pears on the beach Must never have felt the sand in their toes They must have placed their own soul out of reach And what about greed? It's not all that bad To bury a pile of chestnuts for the spring All animals do it, so why shouldn't we? If it's greedy to love yourself, let it be Lust is the one that makes pastors blush Yet it's one of the greatest joys in the body A kiss and a dance, laughter and romance Why did we ever label this happiness as naughty? Have you ever seen a cat sad when it naps? It is okay to sometimes be lazy The body needs rest as does the mind Or the world will set fire from the crazy If happiness is a sin, then let me smile in hell Looking up at the do-gooders above For to live is to err, to cry, and to sing Happiness is pink jell...
Post a Comment
Read more

Lost in Rio

Jesus looks over The lost souls and bones below In the jungle sun To witness such beauty And such devastation God painted with one brushstroke Merry men sing Holes in their shoes The dark night lit up By police sirens And the crescent moon Bats flail around Like me, lost in the jungle Eyes glaring all around I hope they're monkeys Or jaguars I hope I can keep a piece of This country with me Safe in my pocket It smells like tropical rain And feels like The clam shells Washed up on the shore It tastes like fried bananas And heavily salted steak Sounds like seabirds cawing Samba on the streets And looks like a page From a storybook About parrots and palm trees Of finding a golden treasure A magnificent, uneasy place When she sun goes down So do we Leaving the night  To the creepy crawlers And innocent stray cats
Post a Comment
Read more

I See the Fire

Every time I close my eyes, I see the fire That aches where you burned me last I am a woman of the earth and the cool soil Where life ferments and earthworms roam I can't survive the lava that pulses beneath The crust of this beautiful land Yellow dandelions piercing the grass Emerald pockmarked with gold I wish sometimes that I wasn't a woman of the earth I wish that I were stronger I wish that my bones were made of steel And my heart of flame So that I wouldn't fall apart at every Crude remark, every Light tug, every Covert attack That rolls off the back of a fire-woman Instead, my skin is transluscent  Like the morning dew  My muscles pieced together With tree sap and mushrooms What's an earth-woman to do In a world engulfed by fire? But root herself firmly to one place Grow a network of twisting underground limbs And create a stable home To escape the chaos of this world
Post a Comment
Read more