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51. Prisoner of Sunlight

Exam week has begun! Oh, the stress keeps building up! Also, this constant isolation from my friends and from regular school life has gotten me pretty down in the dumps. Sitting at home studying all day isn't all that fun... With no distractions except for history notes on my mind, I start looking back at past events- usually disturbing ones, that crowd my inner peace and totally distract me from studying! I'm actually supposed to be studying at the moment, but in order to achieve at least some peace I wrote a poem about this tunnel in my head... It seems like I'm over analayzing past situations over and over again and I'm sure that that's not healthy! You can't change what happened, but you can change what will be. Have to take my own advice sometimes! Ha,

enjoy my poem.



I am a prisoner of my mind
I am a slave of my very own brain
Flashbacks clog inner peace
And restrain me from becoming sane

Thoughts; they arrive with no knock on the door
Barge in as if they were good
I huddle and sink deep into this past-tense world
This world so difficultly understood

I am aware, living in past tense
Is the absolute worst thing a person can do
With it comes denial, hatred, regret
Until I can't differentiate from what's dreams and what's true

At the end of the dark, hollow tunnel
Rays of sunlight creep in and smile
Illuminating my heart, moving on forward...
Knowing this pleasant emotion will merely last some while

I can reach that light, I know I can
But every time I look in the past I move further from hope
Until I will be stuck in that tunnel with not a shed of light
Infinetely waiting for someone to pass me a rope

Life only moves forward
Just like an eagle, it never looks back
You can't changed what happened, but you can change what will be
The tunnel will not always be black

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