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Adulthood is Loneliness

Sometimes life really throws you in the deep end. No floaties, no swimming instructor by your side. No wading in the shallow end before moving on to the diving board. Sometimes life just pushes you in head first and you're 18 feet deep before you can even open your eyes. Perhaps this is when we learn the most- when everything hits us all at once. A beautiful catastrophe, a cavalcade of explosions, tears, laughter, happiness, loneliness; all of the contradictions and antonyms converging. Just a few months ago I felt like I became an adult, and now I am alone. So alone. There's help from friends, colleagues, and family, of course, but now I feel as most of us do. Like on an endless pursuit for money and happiness, not really knowing where to find either, and never feeling like we have enough. Adulthood is loneliness.

As the strike nears a fifth cold and bitter week, and as I hopelessly scramble to find an apartment to move into before the Christmas season, it is only my inner ambition that pulls me forward. That makes me want to get up on a crisp morning, put on my dirty running shoes, and fight for justice even though tensions are high and motivation is low. It is my inner survival instinct that helps me gasp for air, to escape from this raging ocean that I've been pushed into. Without a lifejacket, and with limited oxygen, I still persevere. While my belief in God is sporadic, I do believe in fate and destiny, and that everything happens for a reason. Life doesn't grind you into a pulp for no reason at all. It is so you emerge stronger, happier, wiser. It is so you can learn life lessons. Adulthood is loneliness.


Image source: https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/241013017542832468/

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