Skip to main content

Cavity

Inside me, is a cavity
That I've tried to fill with
Wine, tears, and an assortment of calamities
I've even tried to mask it with this thing in the corner
Of my imagination, that I clumsily label "God"
Still, I can't will myself to rid of this monstrosity
Eating through my chest like acid
I feel it in my sleep, in my nightmares
At work, school, and carnival fares
Keeping me caged so that
Everything tastes bland, just as the Puritans like it
Sugar tastes like medicine; pleasure's uninvited 
No, the cavity can't be mended with a bandaid or a kiss
From Prince Charming rising out of the abyss
Every time that I look in the mirror and sigh
The cavity deepens as I curl up and cry
The cavity rots when I wish to be someone else
A bird, a fairy, any creature with a pulse 
Who isn't me, 'cause all I see, is a gaping cavity
A reflection of sorrows and mortality
Like a beggar on the side of the road
I weep for a numbness that can't be bestowed
Please fix me, please fix it
These rodents gnawing at the core of my soul
Please, please, let me be whole
Before the cavity becomes my only console
I reach out for skin, for wine, and to my creator
But none of it will quench the dry, empty crater


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Women: Living Contradictions

What does society want? For women to achieve impossible standards (and, by the way, it is NOT possible to achieve something that is impossible). Society wants us to be living contradictions...cabbage heads on stilts... airhead rocket scientists. Society wants us to be things that don't even exist in fiction, but only in the glossy pages of a Cosmopolitan magazine (look at me! I'm so skinny! So happy! Sexy all the time!). As I heard said many times before, "even Victoria's Secret models don't look like Victoria's Secret models." The way the proportions are warped, each pimple bleached, each hair trimmed down to pre-pubescence, toes and fingers without a scar, and the face angelic and so happy... it makes me sick. It makes me sick because of the contradictions, because women are expected to: Be sexy but not slutty Be innocent but not prude Be virgins but also fantastic lovers Be independent but submissive Be good mothers but maintain careers Be...

Perfection is a Myth

For as long as I can remember, I've had the same unachievable goal, which I believed to be my life's purpose: to achieve perfection. I wanted to be a straight A student, an idol for the younger generation, the prettiest girl on the block, the girl with the perfect boyfriend, the perfect balance of everything that is wonderful and exquisite. Little did I realize that perfection is just a myth, like Big Foot or the cookie monster. I now type this blog post, feeling both shock and excitement, about my new found discovery- that the thing I've been trying so hard to attain all these years does not exist. It's a big pill to swallow, but hopefully a glass full of water and reality will ease the pain. The biggest problem with trying to be perfect is having the constant feeling of guilt and failure. Since perfection is an illusion, I'm chasing after nothing. I feel guilty for not being perfect and, by this definition, I'm a failure because I'm not perfect. This sou...

Why I Think Iron Man is a Jerk

I'm not usually intrigued by superhero action movies, but since I work at the cinema, I can't resist seeing some blockbuster action flicks from time to time, the newest one being Iron Man 3. Although the movies are based on comic books, I still like to do a literary overanalysis of the characters, their flaws, and the hidden messages that they're portraying about our society. Popular media defines society as it is in the moment. For example, back in the post-war days, literature was depressing and scrutinized the advance of the Industrial Revolution and lack of individualism (take into account Virginia Woolf or Sylvia Plath). Now, our society seems to hail the cynical hero- the one who makes snippy remarks, has low moral standards, and consumes himself with one-night stands- the jerk. The greatest example of the cynical jerk superhero is Iron Man. The newest Iron Man movie had a simple, predictable plot line (nerd wants revenge, things get blown up, pretty girl, nerd b...