47. Juvenile [Bees In A Honey Jar]

Sorry I haven't written in my blog for a while! I have been preoccupied with schoolwork, friends, boys, packing (moving next week!!!) and such!!! Here is a poem I wrote about.. my twisted problems I face on a daily basis, how much I fail, etc. etc. : ) It feels like I've become really juvenile, gone backward in time, you know? I've experienced all this stuff before, and learned from my mistakes, but here I am again in square one being a scared little bat afraid of big bad wolves. It's kind of pathetic, it's kind of a waste of time, and it's kind of getting on my nerves, and I know that if I don't do something about it in the near future, I will go back into craziness/depression and wacko mode : D Wish me the best, for the people who know what I mean in this poem ; )

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Juvenile, it's what I am
Cowardly, like never before
Indecisive, what the hell am I doing?
Strut right in or knock on the door...

Intestines, they must be collapsed and wasted
I have disinherited all guts from inside
With it, deflated my self esteem,
My determination, and my pride

This voyages beyond the point of pathetic
It simply reaches an unimagineable low
When conscience has refused to listen
And mind has resisted to grow

Now I'm stuck, like a bee in a honey jar
And I've got nowhere to fly
Might as well let my antennae wither away
Taste a sweet bit of sugar, and say goodbye

Juvenile; beyond all beliefs
Are my emotions beyond my control?
Maybe if I stood up and did something; anything!
Maybe then my life would be whole

What's the worst that can happen?
I'll live through this, no doubt
Mind is not completely diminished
I'll do this; I'll figure it out

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We Pretend

We pretend that we'll live forever That tomorrow will bring something better We pretend we're not made of stars As we roam the streets and bars We pretend we'll never die That our kids won't ever cry Over the loss that is our end Every student, teacher, friend Everyone we've ever known Has a constellation they call home When the moon comes out at night I look to them to see the light To all those who did pretend That their story would never end But on some nights, breezy and clear I see the stars and they feel near I can grasp one and hold it in my hand As it takes me to another land We pretend this earth is all there is to see Yet the stars and crickets have spoken to me We pretend we'll never die Because we truly won't To someone's eye

Miles Away

I refuse to sell my heart, not for twenty-five cents The auction is closed, ladies and gents I’ve already sold my eyes, when they caught sight of the streets So now everyone can see the beauty of my Italian retreat I sold my tongue for gelato, feeling so young Letting the wild berries dance around on my tongue I sold my feet when I traveled to see our Holy Mother in gold Like a saint on a mission, I’ll walk until I get old I sold my ears when I heard beautiful Aida open her lips Echoing through the theatre in which the ancients used to sit But I won’t sell my heart, it is still free For my heart belongs to God and not really to me My heart aches for home, too many miles away Yet for now I am here and I will live for today Yes, I sold my eyes to Italy; it’s all I can see How I wish you were here seeing these treasures with me I’ll try to buy back my sight, taste, and ears too So that I’ll be able to share these memories with you

On the Origin of Love

So, I was researching something that I learned in literature class today (because that is what I like doing on Friday nights). We recently read the screenplay Hedwig and the Angry Inch and one song in particular really intrigued me- "The Origin of Love." What is the origin of love? Here is a summary of Hedwig's song, based on Aristophanes' mythological philosophy that is mentioned in Socrates' Symposium. (Oh yay, story time!) Well, a long time ago, there were three sexes: the men (of the sun), the women (the earth) and the androgynous (the moon). Each sex had two heads and four legs, etc. and they were very powerful. The gods became angry with the strength of these sexes, so Zeus cut the people in half with lightning bolts. Therefore, it is now in our nature to seek a sort of completion. Meaning, we have intrinsic desires for love and sex and finding "our other half" (as cheesy as it sounds, this is exactly what Aristophanes meant). Of course, this c...

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